It is after a good gap of few months; I have finally sat in my writing corner to just write. It is more like a blank canvas as of now and I will paint it with my thoughts as I go along…
I remember, when I was a child, my happiness was all about being lifted and twirled in the air by my father. Or the evening playtime with my grandparents. A couple of years later, happiness changed to playing tag with friends at school or going to the music class with my brother. A few years later, happiness to me meant being wrapped up in a blanket by my mother’s side as we watched TV and exchanged grapes. Or enjoying Sunday outings with family. I also remember the time when happiness came from doing all silly things with a friendly brother by my side.
As I grew older, happiness was accompanying my mother in the kitchen. I would sit with my notebook and write about any random topic that she gave. I wrote while she cooked! The rhythmic sound of her bangles as she rolled the yummiest ‘chapatis’ is still so fresh in my memory. Then came a phase when phone calls from friends meant happiness. Those long and ‘important’ conversations, that incessant laughter, the school recess time, bike ride to school – all brought so much joy! When I grew a little older, happiness meant helping mom in the kitchen, where I would tell her about my day at school and she would talk about her day at work. Playing the game of chess with my father and learning new moves meant happiness. Later, falling in love and feeling the butterflies in the tummy brought immense delight.
My thoughts today are about the fact that as we grow and tread the journey, the definition of happiness keeps changing. What we thought of happiness when we were younger is different to what happiness means to us now. Today, happiness to me is a cosy weekend at home with the family, a nice evening bath after a long day at work. Happiness is a phone catch up with my close friends and family. Happiness is those crisp cold walks through the woods with a scarf wrapped around my neck and my favourite podcast to give me company. Maybe, happiness now is not the carefree, childlike joy that we used to feel at the tiniest things when we were younger but the small joys instead. Those moments when we are ourselves!
When I think more about it, I realize that like everything else in this world, happiness also changes. It grows with us, evolves with us. And when there is nothing static in this cosmos, then how can love and feelings possibly stay the same? Love indeed changes over time. As we grow older, we experience more of the world and witness life in new ways, which mould the meaning of so many concepts for us. What ‘happiness’ means to us changes. What ‘growth’ means to us changes. What peace, kindness and friendship mean changes. We as a person change. Then how could love possibly be the same? And the connecting thread here is that when happiness and love are ever-changing, how can relationships always be the same? They also have their growth chart; they also develop with us. When we as a person change, our needs change. And when our needs from a relationship change, the relationship changes. Perhaps, this is the reason we find ourselves pondering over the changed and new relationships.
The truth of all truths is that nothing here is permanent. In a broader understanding, it’s a bubble that we live in. A perishable world where nothing lasts forever. The hardest part is accepting that people change and that changes everything. After all, the world is made up of different kinds of people… And it’s the actions through which people convey so much – some say more but mean less, some say less and mean nothing. Some say less and mean more while some neither say nor mean anything. Actions are powerful because they say a lot. And words mean nothing if they are not accompanied by supporting actions. Some people always have feelings to express while some suppress what they feel. Some find peace in talking while for some silence is the answer to everything.
So, if we are growing into a strong-willed individual, if we have started affirming our worth and if we are changing in considerable ways – then let love change with us. Into something positive. Into something good. Let the meaning of happiness change every day. And like the ripple effect, everything around will change for good. In the end, it’s all about growing with the ones that are with us and learning from the ones who aren’t there. In the end, it’s all about embracing happiness and accepting what not is!
… And coming back to where I started, a cup of hot coffee with soulful music makes me happy. When my dear husband prepares the coffee, it makes me happier and our coffee moments together makes me the happiest. Like, right now. There is this amazing man next to me holding a couple of coffee mugs, asking me how long before I am done. And I say, ‘one last minute’. After all, these are the quiet, tranquil moments that are nothing but the instances of pure, grateful happiness. And before I contemplate further, I grab my hot coffee before it’s too cold to enjoy – cheers!