I surrender…

Anusha: I don’t have a reason to be stressed, yet I feel so nerve-wrecking throughout the day, doctor.

Psychologist: This is a common syndrome these days. Try to relax your mind and occupy yourself with things and people that please you. Try these medicines for a couple of weeks and let’s examine the changes in you after 15 days.

***********

Anusha left the clinic with the same set of thoughts she entered with. She was in her early thirties, married to a well settled business man and belonged to an affluent family. She had a good job to keep her busy and an extremely fun loving social circle. Logically, she had no reason to be worried about. Life had offered her all that was a desire of many. Still, she could not understand the reason of constant stress in her life. She tried all ways to keep this taxing away from her, but all in vain.

Eventually, this frustration started showing in her day to day routine. She spent hours in thinking what was going wrong and how could she set things right for herself. She daily tried to figure out the missing link only to disappoint her with nothing. Days seemed to be longer than they were; time seemed to have stopped. She could barely concentrate on her job and family, as if life had taken a U-turn for her.

One fine day, she gave up. She could not handle this phase anymore and started thinking of ways she could end her life with. Suicide was not her cup of tea. Then what else could be an option? She jogged her mind until an idea struck her. She managed to extract the details from internet and dialed an agency that took contracts to kill people. She booked an appointment for the following day and planned everything for herself.

The next morning, she left home with a photo and some money in her wallet. Upon reaching the agency, she met the personnel who were to take her contract. Anusha handed the photo and cash to the guy after making her terms and conditions clear. She agreed with the agency that they would kill Anusha in next ten days, as per their choice, without letting her know so that her death comes as a sudden thing to her and she doesn’t feel the pain of dying. Yes, she gave the contract to get herself killed.

Upon reaching home, Anusha felt relieved for some time. She started making a list of things she would do in next few days before she dies. How and when she would die was not known, however, she knew she won’t live for long. She planned a dinner date with her husband the same night and kept the itinerary ready for the following days. With each passing minute, Anusha started feeling tensed and worried about her contract. She did not want to step out of the house in a fear of getting murdered. Whenever she went out, her eyes kept searching for someone who might be there to shoot her. Anusha was not living before, but now stopped more in the fear of dying. Was this situation better than the one she was going through earlier? Anusha was dying daily and there came a day when she wanted to get rid of this feeling. It had been four days since she visited the agency and nothing had happened to her till now.

That fine Tuesday morning, Anusha decided to surrender her to life and not die in this manner. She realized that her days were more beautiful earlier and she had no reason to be strained. She had a beautiful life, which she didn’t want to end abruptly. She immediately stepped out of the house in a desire to meet the person who had taken her contract. Yes, she wanted to call it off; but as luck would have it, she was shot dead on the same day while she was on her way to meet that guy. Anusha was late and her life ended in the same way as she had planned. She left behind a settled life, which was meticulous in all senses. Why did Anusha do this?

There is no reason for us to be stressed until there is a candid reason. Life offers phases and all phases pass by if dealt with little faith and patience. Nothing is permanent and nothing is worth losing this life for. Life doesn’t always promise joyous days, but it does promise that after every ‘not so good phase’ joyful days will surely follow. It’s easy to end one’s life, what is left behind are the loved ones who die daily in the fond memory of their loved ones.

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