Month: December 2016

Dear daughter,

As you lie next to me snuggled in my arms, I caress your tender tiny hands and feel a little sentimental. It seems like yesterday when you entered into our lives and brightened it up with your presence. Today, you have completed 10 months and one day you will turn a year old, you will start school, finish graduation, begin a job, get married and have kids. Time flies so fast and I can only wish to stop every passing minute of my life right here so as to live this phase a little longer with you.

Today, as I look at you, I suddenly feel a surge of so many things that I want to say to you; and to start with – I love you with all my heart! Raising you is the most meaningful part of my existence. I am not just raising a girl or a daughter; I am raising someone’s future friend, someone’s neighbor, someone’s colleague, someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter-in-law and someone’s grandmother too. Sounds like a BIG responsibility isn’t it? Well it is and I will try to teach you all that I have learned in life through my education and experiences. Rest, I want you to be yourself and I am sure, you will turn out into a beautiful person one day.

My darling, I always want to see you happy. It doesn’t matter where you find your happiness, what truly matter is, to know what brings joy to your heart. In this world, many of us come and go without even realizing where our happiness lies; I hope you are able to find yours.

Travel around the world, you will learn life’s best lessons along the journey. I wish for you to be a voracious reader; you will find all of life’s answers hidden inside the books. Learn to dance in the rain and enjoy small blessings. Always remember that not all days will be bright and happy; but be prepared to enjoy the storm with a smile on your face.

Fall in love; there is nothing as beautiful as loving someone with all your heart. Don’t be afraid of heartbreaks as they are meant to transform the ‘fragile’ you into a totally new person. Remember one thing – you will find all sorts of boys as you grow. Stay away from the ones who only talk about your physical appearance. They will not be worthy of your attention at all. Beware of the pretentious boys who will talk all filmy stuff to prove their love for you. Trust me my doll; they will be the ones to change their course during some crisis. There will come a time in your life when you will find someone who might not know the jazzy ways to win your heart or someone who might never propose to you bending on his knees but he will be the one who will show love in small things and will never leave you when you need him. Look out for such kind of love, for only this shall be true love. I hope you find your true love like I have found mine.

Do not ever be afraid of anyone or anything. Be fearless. Be independent. Always remember that you do not belong to a place or people that discriminates something, or anything. Don’t be afraid of being judged and never compromise or settle for anything less than you deserve; you deserve true happiness. Be careful while making promises for it takes a great deal to keep them. It’s not a cake walk to honor your words and I have seen many people failing in this.

My sweetheart, I don’t want you to be afraid of making mistakes; we as humans are bound to do blunders. But don’t ever repeat any mistake for it will then be called a choice. I have also made many mistakes in life but important is to learn from them. Remember a thumb rule I strictly abide by – don’t trust someone who has broken your trust once. Don’t ever give anyone a second chance to hurt you.

Today, I want to tell you that I will never pressurize you to be what I want you to be; I would always accept your individuality. Wear makeup but don’t forget that honest eyes without mascara are better than the decked eyes that tell lies. You will come across all kinds of people in this journey; I hope you find good friends. One important thing for me to tell you is that nothing is constant in this changing world; relationships also change. Your best friend from school might not turn out to be a life time friend. Don’t be disheartened.  Learn to let go and move on.

Make lot of memories and its ok to sometimes break the rules. Be an open minded girl, try new things. Remember one thing – the more avaricious you become, the farther you drift from your true self. Stay grounded. Connect with the nature. Own a pet someday and you will find a true friend in it.

It’s good to be expressive. Express love. Express your emotions. There’s nothing wrong in being emotional. And whenever you are in doubt, follow your heart. This is a debatable approach though and might fail in pragmatic measures, but at the end of the day, it will lead you to a peaceful slumber.

I hope you learn to enjoy silence as well. I pray that the cacophony of big cities and changing times do not take away the innocence and simplicity of my little girl. I will always be around to protect you, but you should also know what it is to fall and fail. One thing that I have understood is that every life has its own share of pains; I hope you learn to deal with yours. Win over your fears, win over your weaknesses. Dream a lot; and dream big. Trust me, dreams do come true.

I don’t know what you will shape up into; I don’t know what tomorrow holds for you. All I know is that I will never be tired of taking care of you. It’s an honor to be a mother and I am enjoying every bit of it. Whenever you say ‘Ma.. Ma’ it melts my heart and all I am left to say is… for you a thousand times over!

Sleep well Bacchha!

OK… a couple of days late but does that change the feelings or content?? Nah!!

Birthdays are special to me and when it’s the birthday of someone closest; it makes all the difference. My husband and I have celebrated many (ok nine to be precise) of his birthdays together, but it was his first as a father and I wanted to make it special.

I had no clue about how First-time parenthood would be — a flood of emotions, mistakes, tears and laughter. As a general trend, we often overlook the love and care that new dads deserve and focus only on the needs of mother and baby. In my view, they carry out silent acts of tenderness between the seams. I couldn’t have made it through the past year without my husband – and I can’t imagine going forward without him.

Dear Gaurav,

Happy Birthday.

Last year at this time, when I was 15 kgs over my initial weight, when the only clothes my body could adorn were the plus sizes, when the sweet cravings in the night made you run to the coffee shops (a couple of times though), when I could not do much about your birthday, when all I talked about was the excitement of welcoming a new life; you participated in everything just the way I imagined.

Reflecting on the past year feels like reflecting on the history of mankind itself — and in many ways, for our little family, it was. This past year was monumental. Today, as I write this, we’re all three hunkered down in our little apartment, and there’s no place I’d rather be. Today, I want to thank you.

When I was pregnant…

Thank you for not taking it personally when I told you how much I hated eating sprouts.

Thank you for not taking it personally when (sometimes) I cried for no reason.

Thank you for not taking it personally when you asked the reason for a few ‘not so happy’ days of mine and all I had to say was ‘nothing’.

Thank you for rubbing my back ‘with the touch of fairy wings’ every night.

Thank you for knowing what ‘with the touch of fairy wings’ should feel like, without asking me to elaborate.

Thank you for never questioning our ability to be parents, despite my near-weekly meltdowns over the subject.

Thank you for never questioning my obsessive need to read the ‘mothers-to-be’ blogs and books before Riona was born.

Thank you for never asking how much I spent during those days to overcome my anxiety.

Thank you for making me feel more beautiful, when the double chin was increasing manifolds with each month.

Thank you for wrapping your arms around me when I just needed to smile or cry.

Thank you for eating choco-lava, pastries and cakes with me even when you never fancied them much.

Thank you for eating at ‘Sigree’ every month for I relished the tandoori mushrooms they served.

Thank you for not making a fuss about my pregnancy and letting me be ‘ME’.

Thank you for all the hot ‘rotis’ you made while I comforted myself on a chair in the kitchen.

Thank you for simply following orders to frantically clean the apartment a handful of days before my contractions.

Thank you for making my pregnancy super exciting and fun with all your love and care.

On the day Rio was born….

 

Thank you for doing squats with me in the labor room.

Thank you for not making fun of me when, while we were on our way to the hospital I stopped by to have ‘golgappas’ and ice-creams, thinking that I would never be able to eat them ever again.

Thank you for letting me realize, on my own, how bad of an idea that was, to climb three floors of the hospital just before being admitted.

Thank you for running around alone catering to the hospital demands; you managed it all so well.

Thank you for giving our daughter the long eye lashes.

Thank you for making me laugh by cracking silly jokes when I was almost in labor.

Thank you for falling in love with my daughter at the first sight.

Thank you for staying back with me in the hospital on the night when Rio was born.

Thank you for waking with me every couple of hours when I had to feed her.

For the past 9 months…

Thank you pretending not to notice my unibrow and understanding that they would be done someday.

Thank you for giving me an ‘atta girl’ when I’m too tired to fold the laundry at the end of the day.

Thank you for Daddy, Mommy and Rio’s dance sessions on weekends.

Thank you for scheduling Family Fun Days.

Thank you for (sometimes) ignoring the clogging of two-foot-long, rat-sized clumps of my hair, and laughing about it.

Thank you for going to the grocery store after work, because I know how much going to the grocery store alone makes your skin crawl.

Thank you for getting up with Rio in the nights, so that I could sleep.

Thank you for making Riona and me feel like the most important people on the planet.

Thank you for making Riona’s breakfast when I am over occupied in the morning.

Thank you for the zillions of smiles you bring to Riona’a and my face.

Thank you for changing Riona’s soiled diapers when I have limited bandwidth to accommodate this task.

In general…

Thank you for always coming home after work with a smile on your face.

Thank you for putting a smile on Riona’s face every time she sees you.

Thank you for encouraging me to get out of the house, even on days I don’t feel like it.

Thank you for making me laugh uncontrollably.

Thank you for supporting every half-wit idea I have for losing weight… and never questioning it when I don’t follow through.

Thank you for supporting every half-wit idea I have for teaching etiquettes to our daughter… and being my biggest champion when I actually do follow through.

Thank you for encouraging me to make art – even if I end up throwing it away – simply because you know it makes me happy.

Thank you for the nights you wake up to meet professional commitments while Rio and I sleep happily.

Thank you for making communication the cornerstone of our marriage.

Thank you for always seeing the best in people.

Thank you for being an optimist.

Thank you for being a phenomenal father.

Thank you for being a phenomenal husband.

Thank you for being there.

Thank you for making every new phase of our lives together the happiest one yet.

Happy Birthday. I love you.