Diary entry_Sweden_28 Nov’17_07:30_Feel liberated!

Tired, I looked around. I managed to grasp a couple of more breaths. I had been running since long and wanted to halt for a moment. My perspiring body could stride no longer! I had been running for as fast as I could and for as long as I could. Yet, the finish line was not to be seen anywhere close. I sat on the road, midway, quiescently. I felt heavy. I felt intense.

All of my unwanted baggage was still there, intact. The pain, the hurts, and the melancholy were ubiquitous in my mind, thoughts, and soul. I presumed to have dropped them on the way, but I was so mistaken. I realized that there were chapters of my life that I didn’t go through very often; what it didn’t mean that they don’t exist anymore. They were right there, buried in a minuscule yet important corner of my heart and very seldom though, I would stumble on them and start my memory trip.

That moment, I laughed!! I cried!! I asked myself, why was I running for so long? Was I wrong to have believed that running in life’s race would help me shed off the extra pounds of unwanted feelings? Yes, I was. It’s funny that my ingenious thoughts never showed me the reality and I never questioned the routine!

I ran, I waited and that day I gave up. I understood that there was no end… Instead, I embraced everything, I accepted so much. I comprehended that we all are living our share of lives and we have different stories, paths, and destinations. One day, we will end differently. We think and act differently…. And that’s when I felt liberated. I was naïve… I thought this metamorphose would happen automatically. But in all veracity, it requires efforts. Hell lot of them! I wonder how easy life would have been if acceptance was to come naturally to human beings… ironically, that’s the most challenging thing to do.

When it’s difficult to shrug off what’s inside, it’s perspicacious to accept what it is; so that the harmonious relationship with yourself stays undamaged. Now, I am running no longer. I have taken off my baggage. My shoulder feels lighter and I feel gratified. There’s no way I could kill the thoughts in my mind. Smartly, I just decided to live with them in unity; and this has made me more intrepid. I am taking small strides towards my future, with my loved ones. I am investing in memories, as in the end that would be my fixed deposits that I will look back and feel happy about. They will be all my savings. They will reflect what I lived for from now on! ….. It’s easier to subscribe to healthy thoughts than die with unhealthy feelings!

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