Diary enrty_Sweden_16th Oct_12:15 AM_Daunting thoughts!

That night I couldn’t sleep!!

It was a night analogous to many others in the past, yet, it was new. What was it? My daunting thoughts or my extreme fearlessness; my strength or timidity? My unparalleled independence or emotional dependence? I don’t know. All I know is that it was only the Moon, my wandering questions and myself that saw the midnight turn into dawn, and dawn into the morning!

Many times I ask myself – what is strength, And every-time I get caught in my own confusion. Is it standing for what is right or living with injustice? Is it being with someone against all odds or being able to live without someone inseparable? People often take pride in expressing how strong they are to live a life that they don’t like, a life that they never expected. Is this what strength implies? What do we call it when people fight the circumstances for what they want, to be with who they want to be with? Is that strength? Opposite implications of the same word!! The more I think about it, the more composite it sounds!

I don’t know all this at all.. What I know is that I want to live in a place where emotions are respected, where people genuinely care; where love isn’t a metaphor for sex. A place where silence is not misunderstood for timidity and aggression doesn’t stand for strength; where keeping promises mean self-pride and helping someone doesn’t imply expecting something in return. A place that is for real. A place where people are not considered crazy if they laugh all day long; where tears have value; Where the only colors known are the colors of flowers and not the colors of skin. A place where people are not judged on petite angles; where the senses breathe freely!!

If I continue to think about it now, I will have another night of listening to the clock tick every minute. So, I pull back my rambling thoughts, plug in my earplugs and listen to this evergreen track before I fall into slumber and let my dreams take over!!!

For, it’s life and it’s supposed to be complex!!

Night!!!
Night!!!

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