‘Bcuz I am a Biggggg girl now’…!!
Every time she says this, my heart skips a beat. I feel a thump in my heart and something doesn’t feel nice. I hate it as much as I take pride in seeing the beautiful person that she is growing into. Sometimes emotional, sometimes watery and sometimes my loving eyes look at her in sheer amazement. When did she grow so big? Wasn’t it yesterday when we announced that a girl, with absolute resemblance to her father, was born?
Many of her games have now become an oblivious history. We don’t remember them, we don’t talk about them. Her ability to express what she wants brings a sense of joy but also (indirectly) implies about her self sufficiency, which distances her dependence on me. I do not take off her shoes and socks anymore, I do not sit with a glass of water waiting for her to finish drinking, bedtime stories have replaced the lullabies, her assertiveness has taken over the ‘I do not know how I feel’ emotion, pedaling her tricycle is the kind of new lap and stroller is nothing but an additional thing in the storeroom. I cry when I see her old videos and smile when I see her pretend and play!
With each week, day and minute, she is moving towards her individualistic life. With each second of the clock, she is drifting from dependent independence to an independent dependence; and I? Well, I happily witness this change and try to hold as much as I can in my memories. I wish I had the power to control the pace with which she is growing. But above all, I now understand what my mother must have felt when I once said –
‘Because I am a big girl now’!!